i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
