is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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