she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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