I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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