i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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