Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
