i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize