three words: i give head
three words: not that well
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
