aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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