im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
