I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
