I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
