at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
