there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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