Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize