your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Randomize