I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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