I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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