just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
