Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
