Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
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