Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
