Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
