We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
