That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
