so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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