i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
