he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
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