My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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