i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
