yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize