shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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