Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Randomize
