i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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