If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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