Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
