Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
