The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I did not marry a roomba.
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