Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
