I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
