come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
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trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
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I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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