Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
