HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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