My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
