If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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