I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
