Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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