New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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