we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Randomize
