Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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