I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
