girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Randomize
