shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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