That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Randomize
