It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
