Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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