I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
