He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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