Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
