Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
