I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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